8 tips on how to lead peaceful relationships and to stop arguing!!
Are you tired of arguments and disharmony with your children, your parents, your partner or your boss? Actually, you don't want to argue, but do it anyway? How can you stop the urge to get angry, to argue or to be right?
First, make yourself aware that arguing robs a lot of energy and leaves traces. Ask yourself whether it is worth the effort and energy loss? At some point it becomes a habit to get angry and love fades into the background. The widespread tendency to declare quarrels normal is questionable for me. Of course becoming angry and arguing is human. But apart from a few exceptions where anger can be healing, it is a feeling that creates suffering. Even the letting out of agression on an object, recommended and practised in some forms of psychotherapy, may bring relief in the short term, but in the long run it is not a good solution. Our deepest need is to live in harmony. We are crazy to hurt ourselves and others, to betray our deep need for peace.
Even if it seems almost impossible to live in harmony with one another, this is what the natural order provides for. When we return to this natural order, the unimaginable regulates itself, and people live happily and in peace with each other. One piece of the human puzzle fits into the other. Everyone takes his natural place, sees himself as part of the whole.
Your true nature is full of peace. Let nothing disturb it and rest like a Buddha within you, no matter what happens outside. It is time for you to follow your deep need for peace of being, consistently and resolutely. Otherwise, despite good intentions, you will get entangled in conflicts more quickly than you would like. It is time to withdraw power from your pride, vanities and fears and to give all your attention to your longing for peace. In order to have peaceful relationships and resolve relationship conflicts, you need no one but yourself. A peaceful relationship always begins with you.
This is the way to avoid quarrels and have peaceful relationships:
1. As soon as you feel anger, try to breathe for a moment, just breathe instead of letting it out. Breathe out again and again and gain distance.
2. Look at the root of your anger and clean it up. Behind your anger is mostly injury, unfulfilled expectations, mistakes, fear or narrow-mindedness. It is more meaningful and profound to look at the causes than to fuel your anger by believing that you are right to be angry.
3. Try to resolve conflicts within yourself, to purify yourself, your feelings, your behaviour. Do not smash dishes unnecessarily. Most stubborn relationship problems cannot be solved with the other, but only within yourself.
4. If someone wants to hurt you, it is advisable to distance yourself. Stay calm. Do not let yourself be provoked. Always strive for a peaceful solution whenever possible.
5. The criticism of others must be reconsidered. Often it carries a spark of truth within it.
6. Try to understand each other's thoughts and feelings. Put yourself in the position of the other.
7. To express objective criticism is something very different from rubbing your own wounds and mistakes in others' faces. If you criticize someone, they will usually be able to accept your criticism more easily if you express it free of strong emotions, sarcasm and reproach.
8. Sometimes a conflict cannot be solved. Then it is better to let it stand until everyone is clear and you can meet again. Sometimes it is also time to say goodbye, because your ways run in different directions and you can stay connected in love.
With LOVE Barbara