6 Tips - How you attract the right partner

Do you long for the right partner, to finally find your soul mate? Have you already tried everything, but simply without success? Of course, there is no recipe for anything in life and certainly no recipe for love. However, certain attitudes and behaviours help you to find the right partner, while others tend to hinder you. Here is a wise piece of advice that you have probably heard many times before: love yourself and be happy with yourself before looking for a partner. Somehow that's true. Yet when I met my husband 30 years ago at the age of 21, I was far from being at peace with myself and loving myself, very far indeed. This shows that love follows its own laws. You can appear to be doing everything right and yet still be without the right person. When I met my husband, I had some disappointments behind me. So I had decided to stay single rather than to put up with a half-baked relationship. For that would have felt like betraying the depth of my love. I can understand if you'd rather take "any" partner than be alone, but of course it's not surprising if your relationships are difficult and don't last long. It's funny that when we're alone we think we're happier when we finally have a partner. However, experience shows that most people with this perspective are not really happy in their relationships and that constant arguments use up their energy. If you really want to be happy, you have to find not just any partner, but the right one. Even that is of course no guarantee for a happy relationship. Many people have the right one, they just aren't aware of it, they overlook the gift by not really appreciating their partner.

In order to attract a wonderful relationship and be happy with each other for a long time, it takes the ability to love deeply, to be able to keep an eye on the beauty of your partner even after the initial infatuation, to put yourself in your partner's shoes, to put love above dogmatism and not to fall into nagging. Love demands all your commitment. The most important thing, whether you have a partner or not, is the ability to truly love, to open yourself innocently to love in its purest form, which is free and without burden. This way of loving manifests itself in the love of life, of existence, and in the love that cannot be sold, neither for your pride, nor for your tendency to be right. Love goes far beyond the search for your life partner. Attracting the right partner is as much a matter of how far you are willing to reflect on your own behaviour and how much you are able to love, this being the basis for a happy partnership of many years.

What is love worth to you and above all what are you willing to give for love? How ready are you to work on yourself, how open are you? How far are you able to give yourself to love, to love innocently, as if you had never been hurt? When you have some relationships behind you and are wounded, it is important to heal those wounds. For in order to experience a truly happy, new partnership, you have to openly give yourself again, become vulnerable to love, even at the risk of not being able to survive another disappointment. Of course it is important to look carefully and to be discerning and not to open yourself to every potential partner, especially not to someone who obviously does you no good. But love always remains a risk, even if you have found the right one. It requires you to go beyond your comfort zone and your desire to not be vulnerable.

How much your potential partner loves you
and how loving your relationship will be,
depends largely upon your ability to love,
and how much you're willing to give for love.

There are moments when it is important to give everything to love and not to give in to your comforts. Of course it is important not to give up and be treated badly. Is it somehow different with you? You are free inside and ready to love and wish for nothing more than a partner, but can't begin to understand why he still doesn't just step into your life? If this is the case, then examine whether old belief patterns, fears and false expectations unconsciously prevent exactly that. Maybe you think: The good men/women are all married. Nobody wants me any more because I have children. Men prefer young, attractive and particularly slim partners. Women only want men with money and who represent something.

As long as you have not processed old wounds, use the time to heal them and enjoy life. Even if this is not the condition to get to know the right partner, it can't hurt. In any case, you will have a better chance and will ensure that you don't slide from one difficult partnership to the next and don't repeat old relationship patterns so quickly. What prevents and burdens you? Are you afraid of being rejected, of not being attractive enough, of not being enough, or of experiencing disappointment again? Just do it regardless.

If you are convinced that it is difficult
to find the right partner, make yourself aware:
Millions of men and women don't have to live with you
and find you attractive, just one.

That's doable. Above all, make yourself aware of your unconscious resistances. It is important to be at peace with your previous partners, to clean up your past relationships. Use the time in which you are alone to reflect, to learn, to grow and to critically examine and question your relationship behaviour with love and kindness, and without accusing yourself. The most important thing is the law of attraction and that of cause and effect. What you send out comes back to you. If you sow love, you will reap love. Give people your love, send out love.

If you already put love above everything else in within your daily life,
you have a good chance of not only getting to know a great love,
but of experiencing it for many years.
How many loving seeds you sow every day,
determine the greatness of the love you will meet.

The principle of sowing is a law of nature that attracts. So pay attention to what you send out. Try to avoid resentment, bitterness, hatred and anger when dealing with others. Sow seeds of love whenever and wherever you can. Start with the little things, the everyday encounters. And when your seeds germinate, you will wake up one day in the wonderful garden of a great love. Give love whenever you can in your everyday life!


  1. Take 100% responsibility for your relationship life. Don't blame anyone else for difficult experiences, disappointed relationships and old injuries. Recognize your own part in it and learn from it. Make yourself aware that with your thinking, feeling and doing you have helped to shape these relationships and that you have to change something if you want to achieve a different result this time, i.e. live a happy relationship.

  2. Do you always choose the wrong partners, prefer those who do you no good? Check your image of men or women. Ask yourself why you punish yourself by looking for partners who hurt you. Isn't a partner more attractive who really loves you? Make yourself aware that the attraction to partners who do you no good lies in self-punishment and a lack of self-esteem. Open yourself to another quality of relationship. Change your image of men and women. If you are still habitually attracted to the wrong partners like a magnet, don't go there. Rather give those who do you good a chance, even if you may not find them so attractive at first.

  3. Delete your "relationship hard drive". Be really open for a new partnership. Free yourself from old experiences and relationship patterns.

  4. Ask yourself which beliefs and behaviours stand between you and love? Let love be more important than your comforts, than your pride in wanting to be right, than being invulnerable and independent. Give love all the power in your everyday life. And above all, risk something. Exit your snail shell.

  5. The most important thing is: sow seeds of love wherever you can. Be loving with all the people you meet and with yourself. The more love you give away, the faster you will attract your soul mate and experience love in your partnership.

  6. Go out, place an internet ad, do something. The important thing is not to proceed doggedly, but playfully. Do something, but try not to force anything. Even if everything shows no success, you have sent corresponding energies into the world, which will show effect sometime.